Sometimes I hate the way seizures disrupt our lives. Today is one of those days. Not only do I hate what they do to Seth, I also hate that they affect everyone else in the family too. I hate the way they sneak in and surprise us on an otherwise normal day. I hate the disappointment when our plans suddenly change. And most of all, I hate that I can't just fix it.
Today may have been the most gorgeous summer day we've had yet this year. As luck would have it, I had the afternoon off work, so the kids and I had planned to spend the afternoon enjoying the zoo. We piled into the van and headed North on the interstate. I noticed that Seth had fallen asleep in the van, and while not completely normal, it happens occasionally. We were more than halfway there when I heard a strange noise coming from the back of the van and realized Seth was seizing. We were near an exit, so I quickly exited and pulled off the road to monitor him until the seizure ended. The seizure was a longer one, lasting nearly five minutes. The other kids realized our plans had changed, and once Seth was able to respond, we started the drive back home.
Seth slept until we were a few minutes from home. When he awoke, he asked where we were, and I told him we had to come back home because he had a seizure on the way to the zoo. I immediately saw the disappointment and anger sweep across his face. The other kids were disappointed too, but they understood and are pretty good at rolling with it. Generally I'm okay with it too, but today I just allowed myself to feel the disappointment, even wallow in it a bit. Because tomorrow is a new day and I'll find the hope in that.
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